My friends ask me, “do I have to ski to après ski?” This naive inquiry comes mostly from my gal pals , who fear getting cold, hurt or embarrassed, but don’t want to miss a good party. I have decided to let them in on our after skiing social since the ratio of ladies to dudes at ski resorts bars is sadly disproportionate. However, I do ask that non-skiers make an effort to understand the skiing lifestyle and après ski culture. Most importantly, I advise them not to start conversations with “I wish I could ski, looks fun, but it terrifies me.” Or “I hate the cold.” And “I’m afraid of heights.”
Here’s a guide of how to be a good après skier!
You can join in all the fun and camaraderie over cocktails, ok – predominantly beer, without the risk of falling on the slopes, totally avoiding the cold and the cost of a lift ticket.
To excel at après ski requires much less athletic prowess than skiing or snowboarding, you just need to balance on a bar stool, maybe navigate snow base lodge stairs. As a non-skier, you can show up to the slope-side bar looking fresh, no helmet hair or sweaty UnderArmour, and jump in as if you have been carving cord all day.
- Dress like a skier. Look like you skied even though you didn’t.
- No need to wear ski boots, real skiers take them off for serious après ski. Instead opt for visible ski socks with loose Merrill’s or LL bean boots (when in Maine). Ladies can don furry boots, but be careful not to look to chi chi or haute-maintenance in the mountains. You are pretending you skied, right snow bunny?!
- Get yourself a prime bar stool, near the window so you can watch the descending last chair lappers. Point outside, laugh, as if that awkward guy who is actually skiing is a bigger loser than you. LOL
- Tip the bartender early and enthusiastically. Remember their name, share yours. You will look like a regular.
- Bring a puppy (pet friendly bars only) and say you’re training your Dog for patrol and avalanche rescue. Wait and watch as your dog, and eventually you, receive ridiculous amounts of attention.
- Bring attractive friends if the puppy ploy seems staged and you don’t actually own a dog.
- Wear an air cast and have an epic, convincing story about your double black diamond crash that was not caught on tape – sadly.
- When asked in too much detail about your ski day, deflect – ask them: what’s your favorite trail, what do you ski on, how many millimeters under foot, how many ski days do you usually bag in a season? etc… Skiers love to brag and boast.
- Don’t dance in your bare feet, rookie move. There are sloppy skiers in ski boots on the dance floor – ouch! Unless you are going for the “après ski injury” and sympathy vote.
- Don’t get hammered… that’s not pretty in any sport or season…sure, do one shot ski to cross it off your bucket list – and because its “trust building” exercise with your new ski buddies – but know when to say when. Cheers! See our Favorite Après Ski Bars on the Planet… seriously consider Learning to Ski or Trying to Snowboard!