What NOT to say to a ski friend
“Don’t get hurt”, “be careful”, “don’t break a leg”, “I worry about you”, “don’t let anything happen to you”. This is what friends say to me when I go skiing, these people I treasure and adore… clearly they care about me too.
But…I don’t need extraneous fears and doubts in my head, especially when I am skiing. What I need is confidence and positivity as I head off on a ski trip…that’s all. I know the dance between safety and risk when I’m skiing, I know it very well. No one is more protective of me than me! My adventures and my risks are highly calculated.
I am never “not careful”. Greg and I put safety in our skiing above all desire to adventure, well ahead of a rush to ski un-tracked, to conquer new unknown snow terrain. We know and live by the Ski Code!
Skiing is my element, the mountains, the snow, the high alpine, its my choice of passion and pastime. Skiing is my zone, but in order to have the best (safest) skiing, I need to be “in the zone” – strong, ready, resilient, confident, courageous, prepared, present. There is no place here for self-doubt, for Debbie-downers pointing out the obvi…yes skiing comes with risk. I have read my lift ticket and season pass disclaimers, have you?
Ski resorts’ legal waivers clearly state “skiing has inherent risk”. We could talk endlessly about risk versus reward, in skiing and in all sports and activities. The Interstate, the Bath Tub…
Instead I’ll just proclaim skiing is safer than texting and driving, ponder that instead of pouncing on how risky skiing may be.
I did the Bobsled on the Olympic track in Park City (now that was dangerous), and hurt my neck for a week! I skied the speed trial run at Verbier, loved cat skiing the remote Monashees (with a pack of salivating Sugarloafers), and look …I’m still here to write about it.
Last but not least, I love my own body and know its strengths and weaknesses.
I take great care… of myself, my surroundings. I have immense respect for the weather, the mountains, ever-changing snow. I stay fit so I am prepared for a myriad of ski conditions and slopes. I have been educated on avalanche slides, tree-wells, search protocol. I also have the utmost respect for those who work in the ski biz, from liftees to groomers, to patrol and 1st responders.
Heather has heli skied with a pack of men in Bella Coola, backcountry skied in The Alps (as they say in France – it’s better to be off-piste than piste-off– lol) and carved with World Cup ski racers on the planet at Portillo Chile. Oh hey Mikaela!
Don’t wanna get injured… been there, done that. Don’t wanna die either, haven’t done that – not ready – so much more to explore, so much life yet to live… I also want to LIVE life to the fullest, not from the safety of my “living room”, the sidelines are not for me …thank you.
Would you tell an Indie car drive “don’t crash” or the crazy Wallendas “don’t fall”? At our summer camp in Maine, my sis in law shouts “don’t fall” just as the waterski boat pulls and you are getting up on water skis. Hey, thanks…didn’t need that seed planted right now. When my friend Mary announced she’d be climbing Mount Everest, I gave her only positive encouragement, not “you could die” because she knew that. Other friends were not so supportive… I’m proud of her… delighted to hear of her adventure firsthand, and now I don’t have to. She planned, prepared and earned success!
Learning new tricks is good for you, not “dangerous at our age.” Just last season, I traded in my traditional ski equipment for AT gear, All Terrain, alpine touring skis, boots and bindings, so Greg & I can explore off-piste in the Alps. Sure, I was apprehensive, amped, and admittedly winded, on our first alpine ascent (climb) but the reward was real. I felt so accomplished at 58 doing something so cool, athletic, and new! I know this is good for my brain, my body, my psyche, my spirit, and my confidence! How I learned to AT ski!
I enter every adventure with thoughtful consideration and caution, a heady approach and a little worst case scenario, but also enthusiasm and a vision of best outcome – as a goal…which we often achieve. Visualizing our safe outcome, with proper preparation and fitness, is highly effective, especially at high altitude. Self-doubt and voices in your head telling you not to get hurt do not play in your favor. There is no room for uncertainty when you are in a steep white room, untracked, unknown…you need your best self. I channel my nerves and anxiety (yes, I do get nervous) into positive energy, along with a little self-pep talk.
I will digress to say I am so blessed to have friends who genuinely care about me, my health and well-being, as I do them. Friendship is such a gift… caring about another human being that’s not your family, but someone you choose to share with, and laugh with, is one of life’s greatest gifts….perhaps the best of all! Because friendship… well, you earn it…the trust, the experiences – from the silly to the sublime, the camaraderie, the crazy, the loyalty, the acceptance and appreciation of knowing each other quirks. I love my friends! #iloveus
So my friends, next time you want to say “don’t get hurt”, instead say “have fun” or “I look forward to seeing your ski photos” and “let’s celebrate when you get back”, “do what you love”. I will in turn be as supportive of my friends’ crazy (ok, risky) passions and pastimes: running (oh geez your knees), sky-diving (OMG), making candles (hot wax – yikes), sunbathing (burn baby burn), beach boot camp (ok – not so risky – just sandy, early and not fun).
I’ll be skiing (safely) with good vibes, thank you very much. It’s what I love, it challenges me, makes me happy, healthy, accomplished, vibrant.
Do what you love, love what you do, know the risks, picture the rewards, life is an adventure… go get yours…
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